Why is my girlfriend gay

Googling is a common compulsion for this type of obsession, and it makes things worse. So the reassurance that the person with OCD obtains is at an extremely high cost. Unfortunately, this only feeds the concern and the obsessions.

Unfortunately, this approach only worsens the problem through a process called negative reinforcement.

How to Cope When : People don’t decide who they’re attracted to, and therapy, treatment, or persuasion won’t change a person’s sexual orientation

Intense feelings are usually produced by this strategy, of course. Confrontation will typically produce feelings of alienation and resentment from the partner. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Wondering "how can you tell if your partner is gay"?

Relationships can be damaged or ended. This is often a very appealing and available option. Obsessions are a hallmark symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD. They typically take the form of an upsetting or scary thought that causes significant anxiety.

For this reason, seeking reassurance is an unhealthy choice. We've listed them, below. Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend is just in the early part of this process.

How can you tell? Each time you find some reassurance, and the anxiety goes away, it makes you more dependent on this strategy to cope with that anxiety. When you consider the temporary nature of the relief, it calls into question the wisdom of confrontation as a strategy.

It happens all the time. The mother of all efforts to obtain reassurance is when one directly confronts the boyfriend or girlfriend. For some people, the doubt and anxiety they experience around this topic rise to the level of obsessiveness.

So don’t assume that your boyfriend is gay just because he likes to dress well or take care of his appearance. Gay guys come in as many different styles and personalities as straight guys do. This strategy works by undermining the very foundation of OCD — difficulty tolerating uncertainty.

This often leads to significant strife in relationships. There’s no surefire way to tell if someone is bisexual or gay, but there are a few subtle and overt signs she might lean more lesbian than you (or even she) realized.

Lots of people take a long time to realize their sexual orientation, right? Your email address will not be published. But living with that uncertainty for as long as you can do it is the healthiest choice you can make.

How to Tell if : But research shows that sexual orientation is likely caused partly by biological factors that start before birth

Discover 6 signs to watch for in your relationship and learn how to approach the topic sensitively. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. There are others, however — some healthy, some not:.